The Art of Listening

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Some people are just good listeners. They seem to be able to understand your every word (or at least you feel that they do) and they respond with the right words as well. However most of us have never given listening a proper thought. How do you actually listen well?

Here are the 4 steps:

  1. Repeat what the person said.
  2. Paraphrase what was being said.
  3. Ask yourself what does that mean.
  4. Respond with point 3 in mind.

Example: David says, “I’m hungry” in the early morning at work….

  1. David said that he is hungry.
  2. David did not eat enough in the morning.
  3. David could have rushed in the morning, he might have been busy yesterday night.
  4. Response: “Do you need any help with work?”

On paper, hunger and help with work doesn’t seem to match. But in real conversations, the result is that the person would feel that you’re a good companion and wonderful listening ear.

So try it out. It may be slow trying these 4 steps in the beginning, but once you get the hang of it, your listening skills would automate smoothly.

August 24th, 2008 - Posted in Character, Management, Mindset, Presentation | | 0 Comments

Mystery Solved: When 30 Minutes Equals 2 Hours

Back in my school days, I used to hear about the mysterious ones, who could study for half an hour (while the rest were mugging away) and still score.

Mystery solved:

  • It’s how you spent your time, not how much time you spent.
  • It’s how much you actually absorb, not how much you think you should have absorbed.
  • It’s about setting standards based on topics, not hours.

Quality, then quantity.

August 19th, 2008 - Posted in Goals, Management, Resilience, Time | | 0 Comments

5 Tips for Choosing the Right Mentor

Having a mentor is like your live-compass in life. He or she is someone you can turn to when the chips are down, when you need to decide on how to act, when you need to cross over that hurdle and you are in need of someone who’s been there or done that.

Here are my 5 tips on choosing the right mentor (for neutrality and readibility, “he” denotes both genders):

  1. It’s not what he does, but how he does it. The underlying values he attaches to what he does.
  2. It’s in the vision he has which guides his own compass.
  3. It’s in his taste for the little things you can appreciate too.
  4. It’s in his flaws and the way he chooses to admit them.
  5. It’s in the way he’s able to bring confidence in you.

Having mentors is dynamic. You may have one for work, one for the way you manage your family. You might even change your list of mentors as you grow as a person yourself. Your mentors can be your neighbour, wife or even someone on the bookshelf.

Choose the right mentor. He might not guarantee you success, but the probability increases in your favour.

August 2nd, 2008 - Posted in Character, Goals, Management, Mindset | | 0 Comments

Read and Surf to Combat Mr Sleepy

I’ve recently discovered a way to help combat the sleepiness when you’ve just woken up. Traditionally the advice is to go take a shower, but I’ll find it hard to even make it pass my room without retreating back to sleep.

The current answer to my woes? Reading and blogging. I’d wake up, turn on my computer and engage my brain muscles in alittle intellectual stimuli. This method was stumbled upon by accident really, but I’ve noticed that 10 minutes of brain gymnastics with words and news can really fire up your brain fresh from bed.

Do you use the same technique? Share with me your thoughts.

August 1st, 2008 - Posted in Calmness, Fitness, Management | | 2 Comments

10 Time Management Savers

Time management, a skill that can separate the doers from the whiners. Be a doer with time on your side with my 10 tips:

  1. Recognize the Difference Between What’s Important vs What’s Urgent. Time wasters are tasks which are not urgent and not important. What we tend to do most of the time are stuff which are urgent and may not be important (e.g. answering every phone call). What you tend to neglect but will hurt you then in the long run are things that are important but are not urgent (e.g. exercise). The stuff that tend to stress you out in the adrenalin are those which are important and urgent. Thinking of tasks along these 4 quadrants allows you to see with a bigger picture where your time is going to, and whether it should be spent at another quadrant.
  2. Manage Chaos by Prioritizing Tasks. Be cool-headed, prioritize and clear tasks one by one.
  3. Learn to Say No. Recognize that your resources are limited, and you’d want to prioritize them on matters which you can contribute best. Pick and choose wisely.
  4. Invest Time in Building Your Personal Skills. The relationships and networks you build, plus the support base that comes with it, can help you with your endeavors in the long run.
  5. Have a “Do-Clear” Mentality. Feel the sense of joy at clearing each work.
  6. Break Up Big Stuff Into Little Bits. Thinking of big tasks in terms of modular components helps reduce the complexities and hence time in problem solving.
  7. Get an Organizer, and Use It. Trust me on this one
  8. Take Public Transport. This is the time to catch up on those magazines, books, newspapers.
  9. Watch How The Pros Do It, and Follow. Since it is on the topic of managing time and not so much of the process of discovery, learning from best practices beforehand will save you some time as supposed to jumping into murky waters.
  10. Nike. Don’t just think and think and think. Old school advice coming your way - Just Do It.

July 31st, 2008 - Posted in Freedom, Goals, Management, Resilience, Time | | 0 Comments